In order for you to start a new life, and really make it something worth creating, it is absolutely crucial for you to have a certain level of love for yourself.
After a break-up, it is normal for you to feel pretty low about yourself. This is then compounded by our innate ability to analyse our every thought, emotion and action in a very awful way and judge ourselves harshly.
Recognising when you do this is the first step in controlling it. Over the next few days, take notice of how much you put yourself down in your own thoughts, especially on the bad days. The general rule is this: if you wouldn't tolerate hearing the same words said to you by a friend or family member, then you shouldn't tolerate them from yourself either!
Once you have recognised them, try to change them around so that you are being fair to yourself. Give yourself love and respect in this difficult time. Perhaps close your eyes and image giving yourself a hug or find other ways of practicing self-respect.
If you have a particular friend that has been helpful during this time, perhaps ask them to do this activity with you and especially, use them as a support to pull you up when you say anything self-deprecating, and ask you to replace it with something more loving.
Throughout your day, write down some of the thought patterns you have noticed within yourself recently, that have been negative. Find a way to turn them into a positive statement and write them next to the negative thoughts. Focus on those more positive statements whenever you feel yourself starting to be too harsh on yourself again.
A strong mental attitude, or attempting to develop one, will be your best bet in transitioning through your breakup towards your new life quickly. Unfortunately, nobody can do that for you, and nobody else is responsible for your thoughts other than you.
This is your opportunity to show the world how to love you! If you have been treating yourself with disrespect and judgement, then you are not setting a very good example for others. You need to give yourself what you're lacking and be there for yourself. If it helps, pretend that you are a good friend of yours and think about how you would treat them.
REMEMBER! You would also have learnt by now, that you must be careful who you listen to. The world is full of well-meaning friends, family and strangers who will give you every piece of advice available. Unfortunately not all advice is good advice though, so use your intuition to determine who you listen to, and who you simply ignore.
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