In Child Custody Cases, Do The Courts Still Favor The Mom?

Child custody cases are filling up the courthouses these days because nearly 50% of all marriages end in a divorce. But does that mean that the courts just give custody to the moms still? Not as much as they used to, but it's still a lot harder for dad to get custody of the children than the moms. It used to be a women's court, but dads are quickly gaining ground, which is great for us. This article will give you 3 simple steps you can take to help you (as the dad) in child custody cases.

Keep Track Of Time Spent With Your Child

Every time you hang out with your child make note of it on the calendar. Every school function you go to, mark it down on the calendar. Every bedtime story, every prayer, every soccer game, put it all on the calendar.

The reason you want to log all this information is so you can show your lawyer and the courts exactly how much time you spend with your child and how important you are in his or her life.

Get Affidavits From Friends and Family

An affidavit is simply a written testimony about your character. When I went to court to win custody of my daughter, I had over 27 affidavits. You should have the same amount or more. Here's what you do. Simply ask all your friends, co-workers, relatives and church members to write a testimony about you and why they feel you would be the better care giver for your child.

After you get all the affidavits, go to a Notary Republic and have them sign and stamp each one of the affidavits. The key thing here is you need to do this without your ex-wife finding out. Otherwise she'll catch on and do the same thing. Either way, the more the merrier. Remember, what somebody else says about you is a hundred times more powerful than what you say about you.

Log Every Time She Says Anything Negative About You In Front Of Your Kids

This one sounds a little silly, but it's been proven to be quite effective. Listen, divorces are ugly. And they get uglier when your children are involved. But you need to at all costs, avoid name calling and ugly talk in front of your kids. Odds are, she'll slip up and say some pretty terrible things about you in front of your child. Make a mental note of it, then write it down later.

What this does for you is shows the judge that if she puts you down in front of the kids now, she'll do it later too. And behavior like this will basically put the child against you and make you out to be the bad guy. The last thing you want is for your ex-wife to speak ill of you in front of your kids. This will make you out to be a buffoon and your kids may no longer respect you. Or worse, your kids may end up hating one of you because of it, either way it's a lose/lose situation when that occurs.

Moving On From A Relationship

When a relationship ends, it can be almost as if someone has died. You go through many of the same mourning for your relationship as you would for a person, especially if the relationship was one of many years. When you've determined that it is time to move on, you'll need some time for yourself. Once you've given yourself that time, you should start to reconnect with the positive things in your life. Only after getting this far should you begin to really assess what went wrong, and what you can learn from that.

Give Yourself Some Time

After a breakup, it is important to take some time for yourself. You may decide to simply spend some time alone, or you may want to be with friends, but either way, you need to have some "you" time. Try to spend this time thinking about just about anything but the recently ended relationship.

Doing this will give you some distance from your breakup, which will give you an entirely different perspective. However, don't use this time to start a new relationship. These relationships, known as rebound relationships, rarely survive because they are built on negatives like hurt and loneliness.

Reconnect With The Positive

Going through a bad experience like this, you will naturally have a lot of negative feelings. While this is natural, and not necessarily a bad thing for a short period of time, try not to dwell here. It is important that you begin looking at the positives in your life as soon as you can after the breakup.

Friends and relatives with whom you have a good, positive relationship are going to be important for you during this time. Spending time with them can help you to feel the positive emotions of joy and happiness, and can help break you out of any funk you fall into.

Make a conscious effort not to bring your negativity into these relationships. You will most likely not be completely successful at this, but by consciously trying, you will be better able to catch yourself and stop before you take it too far. Remember that negativity, even when not directed at the person you're with, can have a toxic effect on a relationship.

Assess Your Past Relationships

After some time has passed, you will definitely want to spend some time reflecting on the problems in your recently broken relationship, as well as others in your past. The reason for doing this is to look for patterns of behavior which may be causing you to have problems in these relationships.

Remember, this is not the time to think about what you think was wrong with your partner. If your partner had traits that were very similar to others you've been with in the past, this might help you realize that you are seeking out traits with which you are incompatible, but do not spend this time bashing your ex, since this will do you no good. Take personal responsibility for your part in the breakup, and learn from it.

Recognizing your roll in relationship problems isn't easy, but once you do, you may realize that your relationship may have been salvageable after all. Even if this last one is not, you may want some help understanding what you could have done differently so you can avoid those mistakes in the future.

Psychology of Men and Relationships - What Divorced Women Need to Know

The psychology of men and relationships is a complex subject matter, and so does re-entering the dating world for divorced women over 40. This seems to be a difficult thing to accomplish, particularly for those who have been with the same person for many years. Adjusting to various things after coming out of a failed marriage can be tough, but there's nothing that can't be solved.

For divorced women who are over 40 and want to start dating again, there are a lot of thoughts running through their minds. Some of them may think they are no longer qualified to start dating another person. Others may think at their age, it's already too late for them to meet new acquaintances and begin a new life again, while others believe that dating, as well as love and romance have left the door right after they got divorced due to their age.

If you have this kind of perspective, then you surely won't meet men. You see, as a divorced woman who is thinking of taking another shot at dating, you would be able to offer a lot to the opposite sex, especially when it comes to life experience, and this is the type of attitude that you should possess. So, don't give up on life just because you had a bad run at marriage. What you should do is move on with your life and get things back on track again.

In order to do this, you need first to accept your current status - divorced. There are some things in this world that we have no control of and are bound to fail, so you shouldn't blame yourself for what has happened. If you still are hurting inside, seek the support of your close friends and family members.

After you have opened your eyes to the bitter truth, then it's time to take control of your life again. Hang out with your friends, socialize and meet new acquaintances. Make sure to enjoy and have fun. This will allow you to forget any depressive thoughts you may have.

You may also consider joining free dating websites. This is an excellent way to meet a lot of people of the opposite sex. You can even take up a new hobby and join groups. Not only will you be able to meet guys, but you will also get to learn new things and have fun in the process. Explore all the possibilities out there. Remember, your single again, so sky's the limit.

Of course, if you want to get the attention of other men, it would be a good idea to change some of your features like your hairstyle or wardrobe. It doesn't have to be a major revamp; just enough to attract men. You can even go to the gym and get in shape; anything that would motivate and prove to yourself, you have finally gotten over your divorce, and that you are ready to move on with your life.

Divorced women don't have time to be thinking of psychology of men and relationships, since they have more pressing issues at hand, but they need to understand that in order for them to move on they have to stop living in the past and enjoy their new found single life. Now is the time to start dating again.

Living Together In Divorce - The Effect On The Family Unit

When a husband and wife who are divorcing make a decision to stay living together they need to have a clear view of why they are doing it. It could be they want to first sell their house and settle all their debts.

But another reason many are doing this is for their children.

We all know how the recession has affected families in general with job losses and rising prices. So imagine a husband and wife with a couple of kids trying to navigate their way through a divorce knowing it will put them all in hardship.

They will be concerned for their children's welfare, because if they part and live in separate houses there might not be enough money to support them. Unfortunately marriage break ups do not always come with a warning so most divorcing couples would be stressed out wondering how it will affect their kids.

There are husbands and wives who can get so caught up in their own anger and resentment they forget their children are suffering. Many times they are used in an emotional tug of war where their parents traumatize them as they tear each other apart in custody battles. When a couple stays together during a divorce for the sake of their children they know that all animosity has to be put aside.

Critics of children living with divorcing parents insist that it will delay the grieving process of a child but on the other hand as kids are very resilient they could perhaps be gently eased into the idea of mum and dad eventually parting for good. These children have probably witnessed constant bickering or cold silences while their parents' marriage was imploding. So seeing mum and dad more relaxed and less unhappy would make most kids feel a lot more settled.

Should you tell your children the absolute truth about your new living arrangement? The answer to that is YES. If the children are very young they may not be able to understand so it probably would not be an issue but if they are older they deserve honesty. Do not be surprised if they act like it is not a big deal. Children take things on board, as they see them so if their mom and dad are getting along again they may not blink an eye. It is up to their parents to make the transition when the time comes as pain free as possible.

It is truly amazing how the love of a child can transcend all differences that exist between people.

Many happily married couples with children are on the poverty line because of the recession and it is possibly the cause of many marriages breaking up. The stress of trying to keep the family unit together in these trying times would be more pressure than some people could bear.

As women tend to get custody of their children many men find the concept of being a weekend dad daunting. There are couples living together during and after a divorce because they have both agreed they want to raise their kids together. This version has nothing to do with lack of money it is about two parents who do not want to miss out on their kids growing up. As men are more hands on dads these days they can hardly be blamed for wanting to be there for their kids 7 days a week instead of the usual two.

Children who lose one parent through divorce often acquire physical and psychological problems but it is still unknown if children living with divorcing parents bear any long term scars from the experience. This of course is based on the parents providing an emotionally healthy environment for them to grow in. Critics believe it is impossible for two ex married people living as roommates to do this but for some it is working.

A lot would have to be worked out but if the parents are able to live together in harmony who is to say it is not possible.

Modifying Your Visitation Schedule

When a married couple gets divorced, it is usually the case that one spouse will receive primary custody of the children. In most cases, the other spouse is given visitation rights that provide him or her with time to visit the couple's children. This schedule is usually set by the same court that authorized the divorce.

In some cases, parents may find that their circumstances change and that they need to modify the times when they are allowed to see their children. For the non-custodial parent, there are two options.

The first option is working out an unofficial agreement with the custodial parent. While this has the advantage of avoiding court fees and hassle, it is important to note that these unofficial agreements are not enforceable should the custodial parent change his or her mind about the agreement.

The second option is petitioning the court that set the schedule. In these cases, individuals will need experienced family law lawyers to fight on their behalves. To get a visitation schedule modified legally, the petitioning parent will have to prove that there is a substantial change in circumstances.

What the court accepts as a change in circumstances will usually depend on the specific court. In most cases though, issues such as moving away are more likely to yield a modification than smaller issues like a change in a work schedule.

There is no guarantee that a visitation schedule will be modified, but hiring an experienced lawyer to handle the case can certainly increase the chances. Since individuals have to go to court for legal changes, it is important to have an individual well versed in family law on your side.

Re-Claim Your Ex-Husband's Heart

What man hasn't forgotten to put the toilet seat down every now and then? That's certainly no reason to flush an entire relationship. After taking some time to experience the quality of the other "fish in the sea", you've decided that your ex-husband wasn't so bad after all. So now you find yourself asking, "How do I get my ex-husband back"?

The first thing to do is honestly and openly evaluate what caused the failed marriage in the first place. Was it you who caused the divorce, was your ex-husband responsible, or maybe you both share the blame? If he was to blame, you must have already come to terms with the situation, or you wouldn't be wanting him back. If you were responsible, will your ex-husband accept your apologies and be able to forgive and forget? What kind of marriage did you have before the events that led to the divorce? Will each of you be able to look deep into your heart and remember the feelings of happiness and joy brought about by the good things in your failed marriage? Will you both be able to look past the low points? Has enough water passed under the bridge to enable healing if there were any sins that may have occurred? There is no doubt that time does heal all wounds.

And don't forget, if the two of you brought children into your marriage, they must be at the forefront of any decisions that you make. If the children would be happy to have their father back in the home, and if it would be in their best interest to have him back, then by all means let them help you make your case. Just be careful if and when you involve the children, as your efforts could backfire if your ex-husband feels you are using the kids to influence him. If you are currently on speaking terms why not try to arrange a get together in a nice quiet place where you and the ex-husband can meet without feeling threatened in any way. You might try choosing a place that triggers pleasant memories for both of you.

If your ex-husband questions your motivations for wanting to get together, position it as a meeting of importance for the entire family. A meeting that cannot be best served by a telephone conversation. Be sure you know exactly what you want to say. You might even make yourself an outline similar to that of a business presentation.The reality of the matter is that this meeting is actually more important than any business meeting you'll ever attend. Rehearse what you want to say and be sure you can speak your mind without hesitation, just do your best to be genuine with your delivery.

Be sure that you can verbalize a list of reasons why you feel it is beneficial for both of you to get back together. You could propose a trial period in which you could both test the waters without being tied to a firm commitment. If your ex-husband was to blame for the failed marriage be sure to communicate your unconditional forgiveness. If you were to blame be sure to offer your sincerest apologies and ask your ex-husband for forgiveness.

If he accepts your request for a meeting you've taken a huge first step towards reconciliation. This is a sign that he harbors no serious resentments towards you and is willing to consider your best interest. If your ex-husband was seriously hurt and is resentful, he will probably not consider a meeting. Be sure not to do, or say anything that may make it seem that you are begging, pleading or otherwise trying to take advantage of his good nature. He would probably see through this behavior immediately making it more difficult for you to connect with him on a deeper level. If a meeting is out of the question for whatever reason you could enlist the help of a third party. A religious figure such as a priest, pastor, rabbi, etc would be the obvious place to start. If you are not a religious couple, try to involve a mutual friend or family member, and ask them to speak for you.

Your ex-husbands parents could be important advocates for you if you had a good relationship with them during your marriage. Don't hesitate to ask them for help if you need it. The bottom line is to be creative in your approach while at the same time being genuine in your reasons for wanting to reconcile.

How to Attract Younger Women: A Divorced Man's Guide

Whether you are a young man looking for love or an older divorcee trying to get back into the game; it is always helpful to have a guidebook on how to approach and attract women. The approach is critical to success in building a relationship with women; to do so it is important to understand the psyche of a young woman.

Unlike their older counterparts, younger women are not as concerned with financial security and the future. They prefer men with an edge that are mysterious and less predictable. They love a bit of uncertainty; it attracts them like bees to honey.

It's important to leave an air of mystery about yourself. Don't tell them about your life story the first time you meet. It's important to have them wondering about that certain mystique surrounding you. Remember women like intrigue. Translation: be vague at times and never be eager to tell them everything about yourself.

Confidence, Confidence, Confidence
Approaching a woman can be a very daunting task. Confidence is integral to the development of the skill of how to approach women. Confidence equals courage, which is needed when you want to get in the dating game after a hiatus.

Newly divorced men may feel they are outdated and out of touch with younger women. They feel that there is no way that a young woman would be interested in them, but this is exactly the opposite.

Divorced men are very desirable among younger women; they are more experienced and therefore have more wisdom and depth to them.

Younger women enjoy spontaneity in men. Don't be afraid to act a bit playful around a young woman. Take her to the amusement park or a carnival. Have fun with her.

Even if you are several years older than her she doesn't want to feel like she's visiting her grumpy uncle at the nursing home. Display your youthful exuberance. As an older man, you can be the perfect blend of wisdom and mystery with a dash of excitement.

What Women Want
Women like what other women have. So if you had other women around you, it might attract even more women to you. The relationships of these women to you doesn't matter; they could be simply friends or acquaintances.

The main point is that they are with you; this makes you seem desirable in the eyes of the other women. In other words, it increases your value in their eyes. If you don't have female friends, go out and make some. Have fun, enjoy yourself and interact with them; this will help in understanding of how to attract women.

Go to clubs, parties and other outings with your younger female friends and acquaintances. This shows other women that you have been socially accepted by young women and increases the likelihood of them approaching you.

Whether you approach a women or she approaches you, remember that confidence is key. Don't act too eager to meet her and don't reveal your innermost secrets. She must think that she has more to gain from being with you.

Divorced men may feel like they need to be taught how to attract women; they simply need to be adventurous, take risks, and show her that you are spontaneous.

Remember to enjoy yourself with your female friends when out in a public setting. A funny-loving man is always attractive and desirable. You should no longer need advice on how to attract women; so if opportunity knocks, open the door. A beautiful woman could be waiting for you to let her in.