Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Best Place to Sell a Diamond Ring After a Divorce

Wedding or engagement ring has special memories associated with it because it reminds you of someone you love. However, after divorce the same rings become a difficulty to get away from the memories of past. It is not a difficult task to sell your diamond ring after your divorce.

However, if you have planned to move on and say good-bye to the memories forever, you can definitely sell your diamond. Best place to sell a ring after divorce is an authorized jewelry shop. You can even choose to pass on the ring to your daughter or son but if you have no kids, you can simply choose to sell it off.

Selling to an authorized dealer will enable you to save your time as you need not to hunt for the customers, you simply sell it to the dealer and he will do his usual business of finding the customer. An authorized dealer will not only buy your diamond ring but he will also appraise or evaluate the cost of your ring, so that you get the best value for your diamond ring.

Appraisal simply means calculating the fair value of your diamond ring, which includes various factors like age of the ring, condition of the ring and current market price of the diamond ring.

Another option you can try is to sell a diamond ring on the internet. You might associate with a diamond trade website that buys and sells old diamond jewelry. However, you need to be cautious while doing so because chances are high that you might end up losing your ring or getting less money for it. Search the Internet and read user feedback, if you are completely satisfied with the user feedback for a particular website, you can take the site of floating your advertisement on the website.

Do not restrict yourself to these two methods only; word of mouth is the most helpful way to get good price for your diamond after divorce.

Can You Win Your Wife Back After Divorce? Discover How You Can Easily Win Your Wife Back

Your marriage wasn't the greatest near the end. How could things that were once great have gotten so bad? The two of you were so happy together - now you are completely miserable. Even after divorce, you CAN win your wife back. Here are some tips to help you.

One of the very worst things that you can do to get your wife back is to beg her to give it another chance. I know, you've heard it before, but it's so true.

Depending on how long you've been divorced, you are going to come up against emotions. If you've just recently gotten divorced, you are going to have a very hard time trying to talk to her - let alone get back together with her. BUT...

When you give these emotions a little bit of time to settle down, your chances of getting her back become so much better.

How much time? That really depends on how bad your divorce was, and how the two of you handled it.

Try to talk to her. Keep it simple. Either say hi to her when you see her (in person), or give her a call. If you get her voicemail, leave a message. Just let her know that you are thinking about her.

Give it some time, and try again. When she DOES talk, stay as polite as you can. Treat things like you did when you first met. There will be a flood of emotions that you both are going to feel, but this is normal - and it will pass.

When your ex wife sees that you are giving things a little bit of time, she will see that maybe the two of you DO have a chance of working things out.

The love that the two of you shared was strong - despite what has happened between you, that love is still there. It will come back once the two of you can relax with each other again.

When the two of you DO start talking again, remember to not argue with her. No matter how much you may want to bring up the problems that were in your marriage, even to try to straighten things out, don't do it.

You want to start building a NEW relationship with her. Do it slowly and steadily. Start with a friendship and work your way up. Don't think too far into the future - enjoy ever minute you have with her.

The best way to win your wife back is to show her that you want to be with her. Show her that you enjoy spending time together. Let her see that the two of you don't have to argue when you're with each other - you CAN have fun together.

10 Ways to Get Your Life Back After Divorce

Divorce or at least the earlier separation can be like a bolt out of the blue for some people. Others are well aware that it's imminent and will be planning for it. Either way you have to get your life back on track after a divorce.


Depending on what has happened you may find yourself living alone or with your new partner, if you have left your marriage to be with someone else. A change in your living circumstances is one of the great stressors in life, let alone coping with the financial and emotional upheavals. However, there is nothing to be gained from living in the past.


How do you get your life back on track after a divorce?


1. Look at yourself first, how are you feeling, do you need some help to come to terms with what has happened.


2. Organise and understand your new financial situation, if you have children, make sure you get access and child support set up from the start.


3. Make sure your boss and close friends know what is happening so that they can understand if you need time off work or extra help.


4. Make a weekly timetable, to keep you focused and to make sure you get some time to recharge your batteries.


5. Accept invitations from from friends to socialise, it is important to push yourself into keeping up with your social set. If you refuse too often, they will stop asking.


6. Be civil with your ex-husband or wife, it will make things easier for your children and also make future contact easier.


7. Don't hang out your dirty laundry in public, stick to the moral high ground, you don't do yourself any favours by going around discussing all your ex's faults.


8. See every day and an opportunity to create the kind of life you want. Make a life board or book of your ideal life.


9. Make yourself a promise to try one new thing or go somewhere you haven't been before once every month.


10. Become an active member of your community, join your school parent's association, volunteer at your local hospice, do something for somebody else.


Getting your life back on track after divorce takes a lot of determination and effort, even if the split has been by mutual agreement, it is still one of life's major upsets. It is especially difficult if you are the one that has been left behind. At times of great stress people tend to neglect their health, exercise and healthy eating give way to snacking, endless coffees and sitting around talking or wondering what to do next. Taking the time to eat well and maintain your exercise routine will go a long way to helping you cope with the stress your body has to deal with during the upheaval of divorce, house moves, consoling children, dealing with the financial and legal stuff.


In some ways getting over or though a divorce may like recovering from a bereavement, there may be a great sense of loss for the life you had, and you have to make plans to fill the void with purposeful, positive activities. This is especially important if you are the main carer for your children, they don't have the understanding of the situation that you have and there will be times when you have to put your feelings to one side to make sure that your children feel loved and secure. Children tend to blame themselves for things that happen, it is hugely important that they are reassured and helped to understand that this is about the adults, not them.


You may feel that you have lost your confidence, it is hard work re-establishing yourself as a single person when you have been half of a partnership. Take some time to write down all the things you can do, doesn't matter if you are good or not, just that you can do it. You'll be amazed at just how much you can do. Ask your best friend to describe you, listen out for your good points. We all have more good points than we realise.


Get in touch with your soul or higher self, whatever you like to call it, reconnect with your purpose in life. Take time to meditate or pray every day and spend time quietly listening for guidance. Too often we lose touch with our higher selves and our creator, I don't mind what you call your God, just spend time connecting, be grateful that you have the awareness to know that you are not alone.


There is a wealth of material available on manifesting the life you want, however, my recommendations would be to read books by Neale Donald Walsch or Deepak Chopra.

Advice For Men After Divorce

If you are looking for advice for men after divorce you are probably lost, or confused, or angry, or sad, or all of these things together! With the startling lack of support for men going through these issues it is no wonder us men find post divorce life a minefield that we navigate blindly.

Now, it does not need to be this way of course. Many guys have experienced this heart wrenching time in their lives and live to tell the tale. Some of them end up much happier than before once they sort through the issues, while others get mired in resentment, bitterness and negativity.

So what advice do you need to avoid the latter fate?

Well firstly, all men go through a process, a journey if you will. You will find yourself in stages of grief, depression, anger and finally acceptance. Men who are able to get through these phases quickly are usually more introspective and have a deeper knowledge of their own psychology.

This comes down to the root question of who you truly believe you are. When you lose your wife and your family unit due to a divorce your entire concept of who you are is challenged. This is a raging crisis below the surface, but often you only feel the surface emotions of anger, jealousy, resentment, depression the two big ones for men: Low self worth/self esteem and in many cases a feeling of deep emasculation.

Being able to deal with this crisis of EGO and SELF WORTH is how to get through a divorce and end up happy and healthy on the other end. It is not a short journey even for the most self aware man. However, being able to identify the destructive behaviours that are driven by these things and act to stop them at the root cause should be your goal.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Advice for Divorcees: Where to Meet Women

The trauma of a divorce can be very draining for a divorcee. After dealing with this ordeal some men want nothing more than to jump back into the ring. They want to know where to meet women! Here is some advice on how to do just that.

Sometimes men just figured that the issue of where to meet women is as simple as just finding a place where there is a large number of them. Some men therefore immediately think that a club or a crowded bar scene is the best place to meet women since they are present in abundance.

This however could not be further from the truth. Most women are going to be very guarded if a man, especially an older man, approaches them. These places are often loud and this discourages conversation which is crucial in that first meeting.

Your first encounter with a woman should be at a relaxing spot; somewhere that the woman's mind is at ease and where she is more open to speaking with you. Women often fantasize about meeting the man of their dreams in locations like the beach or the park. So if you are wondering where to meet women, that's your answer.

A Stroll In The Park

Parks, beaches, and coffeehouses are ideal places to meet women; you have different things going in your favor at these settings when compared to the nightclub scene.

Firstly, the woman's guard is down. Where to meet women and how to approach them are seemingly pointless endeavors if the woman is being defensive. In these settings she will be more predisposed to talk with you personally and this is exactly want you want to happen.

Secondly there is less competition. In clubs and bars there are lots of females present and also lots of males, all of whom are having the same idea as you, wanting to meet a great woman. Being on the beach or on the park definitely gives you an edge.

Finally and one of the most important factors is the pace of the area. Good places to meet women are easygoing and have a relaxed pace. As was said before this encourages conversation which let women see the inner you.

Online Dating Is Okay

Unconventional places to meet women such the internet are also potential areas to encounter women. In the past online dating was looked at with ridicule, but now it is perfectly ok to meet someone online. It also give you access to various women at your fingertips. Open a match.com account and get her from online to offline right away. There are almost an endless amount of beautiful women waiting for you online.

Building Your Social Circle

Building your social circle is essential; this place can be your stepping stone to branch off of. Your social circle is also a great place to interact with women. These women already know you somehow and now you are simply developing your relationships with them as friends.

In the future they could be a potential mate. You can have parties; invite your social circle and their extension of friends. This will enable you to meet even more people in a comfortable environment for you. This will also give you the confidence to approach women that you have no association with and will help to expand your network.

These tips on where to meet women if followed will help you not only to meet women but to encounter them in places which encourages the development of a meaningful relationship.

Dating After Divorce - Online Dating Is The Answer!

Just get divorced? Or maybe you've just been dumped by a girl you cared about... I feel your pain brother. I was an absolute MESS during my divorce a few years back. I'm talking about it got UGLY!

But rather than reliving my torment and misery for your reading pleasure, I'd rather tell you about what happened afterwords and why today I'm 10,000x happier than I EVER was while I was married.

So, at first life sucked balls. I'd sit around feeling sorry for myself, drinking, and beating myself up. I felt like a piece of human garbage. What the hell was wrong with me that my ex-wife didn't want me any more? I hadn't cheated on her, I cooked her dinner all the time for heaven's sake! I was the ultimate "nice guy" husband.

This dragged on for a couple months and I gradually began to feel a bit better. So I put down the vodka bottle, and decided to go out and try pick up some chicks like I used to do in my pre-marriage days.

Bad mistake.

The first night I went out, the very first girl I tried to talk to turned to me and said, "#@*& OFF!"

I slunk back to my man cave and stayed there for a couple more months, alone, depressed, and basically pissed off with myself for losing my "mojo."

Then I found online dating, and my life changed forever.

At first I didn't get any love online either. I'd send out twenty emails and the online girl who would write me back was the one with no picture... LOL, what was I thinking?

But, I felt like online dating was my ONLY option, so I stuck with it. I read books, I listened to self-help tapes, I took hundreds of pictures of myself in the bathroom mirror, and I sent out emails DAILY until I discovered exactly what I needed to do to attract women online.

The next day I met Kim, a 22 year old coed dancer. We met up at a local bar and within a couple hours we were back at my place. Enough said.

Not only was Kim way hotter than my ex, but she was way more FUN. She wasn't looking for a husband or fancy dinners or anything like that, she just wanted to come over a couple days a week a hangout with me... awesome.

She really helped me get over my ex and recognize the fact that I still have my whole life ahead of me. The truth that I never wanted to face was that I was totally SETTLING in my marriage, and I actually wasn't happy at all. I was just "comfortable."

Now I see my divorce as one of the very best things that has EVER happened to me.

I've gone on to date a ton of awesome girls that I met online and my dating life now exceeds my wildest adolescent fantasies!

Is also very easy for me to pick up and date women that I meet in other places now because I'm overflowing with confidence, but I still love online dating because I'm a lazy bastard...

Would you like to be able to meet and date some hot young women yourself?

Well, now you can take advantage of all the knowledge I've accrued. I've painstakingly assemble a system PROVEN to help men attract women.

Coping After Divorce For Men Struggling With a Marriage Break Up

Are you not coping after divorce well? Are you overwhelmed with the painful memories, the bitter arguments, the feeling of emasculation, or are just sad for no definable reason? Well perhaps you can take comfort in the fact that nearly all men go through this process, but those that come out the other side have done some serious mental rearrangement while those that get mired in post-divorce hell are missing some crucial pieces of information.

To help you cope with this rough patch allowing you can be free of your divorce and be happy, here are a few things you must know.

Self Pity is Poisonous

While it is easy to say "poor me", for a time you will have the luxury of moping and being sad, to continue this behaviour is a self destructive and poisonous path. Being the victim may make you feel entitled to pity and sympathy but this quickly wears thin on other people and makes you reliant on other people stroking your ego. A man who is truly free of the impact of divorce will not wallow in self pity but will be happy with himself without the need for others to feed your self esteem and victim complex. You must take the step forward and release your victim and believe instead you are a winner!

Hatred Never Helps

Another negative emotion that guys get stuck on after a divorce is hatred and resentment towards their ex wife, or other people involved in the divorce somehow. This is a useless emotion though that hinders your personal development. It also does nothing to hurt or hinder those that you hate, it simply drags you down and colours your life with a dark and hatful brush. Being able to forgive is a talent that will set you free from the emotional turmoil you are trapped in.

Dating Mistakes Women Make - Are You Waiting For His Call?

Sometimes, things don't go the way we want them to. This is especially true in the dating world. There are times wherein a relationship ended even before it had a chance to kick things off. Sadly, sometimes we played a part in its demise. We unconsciously did something that made the guy run the other way. Here are some dating mistakes women make that you should avoid at all cost.

Sleeping with the guy too early. This is perhaps the most common mistake most women unwittingly always make. You may feel really attracted to the guy that you would end up jumping into bed with him. You may not be able to resist the urge to become intimate with him. So, what happens is that you would sleep with the guy after the first or second date.

You may think that he would find it appealing, but guess what? He won't. Just because you're sexually confident about yourself doesn't mean he would like you for that. On the contrary, he would probably think that you are doing this with every guy you date. Don't have sex with a guy too early if you want to keep the relationship longer. This is one of the most important dating tips that you need to follow.

Talking about your previous relationships. All of us have had our fair share of failed relationships. There are some women who still pine for a guy who broke their heart. Others still have resentment over a boyfriend who treated them like trash. Well, that' all in the past. You don't need to bring these emotional baggage to the table.

You have to wipe the slate clean and start fresh every time you date a new guy. Remember, he has nothing to do with what has happened to your past dating life. So, leave all previous relationships out during conversation and when you're in a new relationship. No guy would want to hear you complain or compare him with other men you dated.

Being pessimistic or critical. These two characteristics are something that most people cannot tolerate. Imagine yourself spending dinner or worse, the whole night with someone full or negativity, or being critical. Not only is it exhausting, but also annoying as hell. So, if you don't want the relationship to end abruptly, don't be this kind of person.

Being rude. Well, everyone knows that it's not good manners to be rude. Being ill-mannered, especially to your date, or even to anyone is a huge no-no. Not only is it a turn off, but it's also not a very good impression of you. The guy would think that you lack the education or knowledge to know what good manners are. You don't want that, right?

There you have it. These are just some of the common dating mistakes women make all the time. So, if you really like the guy and want to keep seeing him. Or if you want the relationship to work, then you need to avoid these mistakes as possible.

Dealing With Divorce - How to Adjust to Living Alone Again

Divorce can be one of the most painful and tiring period for any married couple to undergo. There is no excuse or escape from all the mixed emotions that goes along with it. Confusion, anger, loneliness and the feeling of betrayal whether you are the leaving or the being left party. The whole process of divorce that both partners need to go through is already as exhausting as it sounds. But that doesn't end there.

The bigger challenge lies after the divorce. This is the stage where you completely see, absorb and then realize the big change that had just happened in your life while at this same time, you're just about to start working on how to heal yourself from the pain of either humiliation or depression caused by the divorce. And the weight of living alone again is just beginning.

You maybe are full of doubts, questions and fear during this period. However, this is just plain normal. You may even hear yourself asking inside your head questions like 'Where will I start to pick things up again? And am I doing this right?' Now, don't freak out even though you already feel like exploding. Instead, gather all this strong emotions and use it as a tool to channel the feelings into focusing on an effective moving-on pace because this is where you have to begin.

Below is a list of suggested and proven effective strategies on how you can smoothly adjust to this new life and new self - while living alone again.

Accept all the emotions. There is no point in denying the pain, uncertainty, solitude and all this commotion of feelings inside you. Admit to yourself that you are just human and at this point your being one. So take it slow and give yourself time to breath in all this emotions. Do not be afraid to show tears, to ask questions, to display panic and even badmouth your blame if you feel you need to. Let it all out.

Seek for companionship. As for the notably known adage, 'No man is an island.' Get-up-and-go and you will find a companion. It may not be a new lover or partner because at this point, you are not yet emotionally ready to enter another turmoil. So, find yourself a friend whom you can spend time with. It could be a relative, an acquaintance, a co-worker or a neighbor. Dial the phone, give them a call and plan an activity with them.

Recall who you were. Peep back and try to remember some of the dreams, desire and things you have longed to do you had to set aside before because of your marriage. It's time to give these dreams and aspirations a chance. Add something more like doing new favors to yourself. After all, it's all about you once again.

Pack, throw and move. If you decide to stay in the same house or apartment, then pack and throw those things even memories that would remind you of your ex-partner. Amuse yourself and try to rearrange the whole place, by the way you are living alone again, you've got only yourself to please. If you feel like moving, give yourself a go.

Go out on a date. It is never too late to try and find the one again. Trust yourself 'cause this time, you know you are a lot smarter than before. S/He is out there; you simply need to stumble on.

It maybe scary and hard, but things do happen for a reason. We merely have to fight and try a little harder than usual because in the end, everything will fall into their right places.

Breakup - Getting Over a Breakup Easily

A broken relationship is one of the most traumatic emotional experiences for couples. Some people try to reconcile after divorce which is often considered as the last option to come to terms with life. However it takes a lot of patience and hard work before you can even think of reconciling.


This is not the end of the world- There is no point in blaming yourself for the breakup. You must not spoil your life just because things did not happen exactly the way you expected. Once you have ended your relationship; accept your current relationship status and try to adjust your life accordingly


Forget the past- Yes, you must forget the past because you cannot undo that anyway. If you keep reminding yourself that you are ruined because you failed in your relationship, you may end up ruining your other relationships as well. You must keep yourself engaged in doing things you missed while you were with your partner. For example; pursuing a hobby, enjoying time with your parents or siblings, watching TV etc. This way you can keep your past behind and coping up with your new lonely life will become effortless for you.


No revenge- Do not try to get into a new relationship immediately after the breakup. You will only harm yourself because you cannot keep your new partner happy unless you heal yourself first,. Moreover, if you believe that getting into a new relationship will make your partner jealous; you will ruin your chance of getting your ex back forever.


Do you really want to get your ex back?- You must ask yourself this question before you think of trying to reconcile after divorce. If you blame yourself or your partner for the break up, you must allow yourself more time to come to terms with your current relationship status. You should not be in a hurry to reconcile because you have separated for a reason. If the reason is still there, you will simply repeat your mistake by trying to get your ex back. Let your partner also feel the trauma of separation. If you believe that you have learned to cope up with the breakup; you can thing of getting your ex back.


There are thousands of articles and methods to Get your ex-back and how to cope up with break up. As I mentioned above you must give your broken relationship a second chance, you must not take it casually. Give it a serious try and follow the advice of those who have helped save thousands of breakups. Read more about how Coping with breakup becomes effortless

Monday, November 22, 2010

Coping With Divorce For Men - 3 Rules

Coping with divorce can be a confusing and frustrating affair in a man's life. Everything seems unfair, upside down, and painful. It can feel like a slippery slope that you keep sliding down no matter how much you claw and struggle against it. Some men turn to drink or drugs, other become severely depressed and withdraws. Some guys however, manage to get out of this funk and live a happy post-divorce life... but how do they do it? Here are 3 rules that may help.

Let Go of the Past

The past is a poisonous beast that can consume your energy in the present and bring you untold problems. If you hang on to the past, obsess over it, reply it in your mind over and over again and relive good and bad memories regularly you more firmly put this in the front of your mind prolonging the agony of divorce. Instead you must release that to history and fill your mind with then present day and the future.

Review Your Life Goals

Divorce is not an ending of life and your future, it is a chance for you to really review where you are, who you are, and what you want to achieve. This rebirth is your chance to create the life you want, free of the constraints of marriage and without the same burdens you used to have. You can now dare to dream, dare to live how you want, work how you want, experience what you want. Sit down and actually write down these things and start planning for them!

Learn to Forgive

Only through forgiveness can you be truly free of divorce and all the problems that come with it. If you travel through life holding a grudge in your heart you will end up in misery. It has even been proven that those who forgive more are healthier, suffer from less anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses. Being able to forgive does not mean forgetting, or condoning actions, it simply means that you no longer let these things make you unhappy anymore. Even if you do not understand the reasons and never will, being able to forgive and live life without hatred and bitterness is the only way to be truly happy.

Dating, Divorce, Blending, and Otherwise - What About the Children?

Good or bad?the best experience is personal experience. With that said, the goal for many of us is to steer clear of the bad and ...


When parents can't make being together work, changes are inevitable. The family unit has to change. After time goes by, you may end up adding a new partner to the mix, which is another change. When adding someone new there are?standards to apply. One rule: new partners should be single, not separated or living with another mate, but single, divorced, or widowed.


Overall, the amount of change children in these circumstances have to go through is extreme. You have to wonder how kids even know who they are and where they came from after all the changes.


When you have to break up your family, sort through what is going on with everyone involved in the situation, before muddling through each and every?detail of it from your perspective. You can be certain that someone else besides you is going through some difficulties because of the situation.


When someone becomes a single parent, or when they blend their family, it is still crucial, and very possible, to raise healthy, well-balanced children. Show maturity, strength, and plenty of love-making your children your first priority. Be brave enough to carry yourself and your children through all the changes with integrity and grace. Here are a few other suggestions to consider:

Determine the amount of time you have considered the addition of this particular partner.Ask yourself how your child may see the situation-right now and later in life.Will this person be one of many new potential partners or are you certain this person is the one?Evaluate if the potential partner offers the basic standards you have put in place. Are you settling for circumstances below what you've always wanted? Have you always expected too little or too much?Also, regardless of where you are in the process, make your life healthy and happy. Your child's life benefits when they know yours is doing well. And most importantly, make good choices.

4 Tips For Dating After Being Divorced

Dating after being divorced is tough. You have to learn how to speak to woman again and you have to learn the ropes of dating also. It's not hard to do, but it can be a little tough especially if you're not good with women. So if this is your scenario, then this article is for you. In this article we will take a look at some tips that you can use to get back into the dating game simply and easily. Here's tip number 1.

1) Don't have high expectations

The one thing that you don't want to do is look at the next woman that you date as someone that can be your next wife. Take things slow and don't expect too much from your next relationship. You're just fresh from getting married so more than likely you will want some space to play around in. This is normal, and you should take your time while you do so.

2) Boost your confidence level

Your confidence may be shattered because you've just been through a tough divorce, but that shouldn't deter you from trying again. The best thing that you can do right now is to go into a mirror and look at yourself. This is the actual technique that you will do, and you need to use a mirror to do.

You want to use a mirror because acting out in a certain way will seem unfamiliar to you, so you need to learn how to be comfortable with yourself. This will allow you to boost your confidence because as your practice in the mirror, you will be "getting over yourself" and will come to terms to who you are as an individual.

3) Find a compatible mate

Even though you've gotten out of a relationship with your ex-wife, you can still find some qualities of her that you liked to help find your next mate. However along with that, you need to take the negatives and use that as a guide to find your next partner. The bottom line is that you and your ex broke up for a reason, and you don't want to find someone who has the same bad qualities as the same problems will creep up again.

Be wise in your decision when finding your next girlfriend as you don't want to repeat the problems of the past.

4) Be prepared for inadequacy

Sometimes you will compare some parts of your new date with your ex to see who is better and sometimes you will find that your ex wife is better in some reasons. This is normal. You need to take the good things of your next date to better yourself as a person.

The reason your marriage failed wasn't all your ex's fault. You inevitably played a role in the ending of your marriage, so you should take a look at how you could have been a better man to your ex. You will want to take this experience as a learning curve for the next relationship that you're in.

All of these 4 tips will allow you to get back into the dating game. It will take some time for you to get back into it slowly, but once your back into it everything should be fine. Good luck on your efforts of getting back into the dating game.

Are You Ready to Date Again? - When You Should Date After Divorce

You may find many good friends and well-wishers around to support you after your divorce. These are the people who intend to help heal and take you out of the depression. What these people would want is you to get your previous confidence back and would like to see you happy again. But don't think about getting in a romantic relationship with anyone yet. It is too early to do so. Search online dating service and find out that you are ready to date again? Here are few signs to check weather you are ready or not?

Do you still think about your ex?

Ask yourself that what would be your reaction if your ex called you? Do you get upset when someone talks about him? Notice your reaction when you see his or her picture. If any emotion occurs then it means you still have some feelings for him or her and you are not clear yet. It's not the right time to get involve with any one because this will not be fair with the other person with whom you are dating. So give yourself time and make sure to get him out of your mind completely. When you become indifferent to your ex that means that you are now ready to get in to a new relation.

Have you found your confidence back?

Check yourself that you are you back to your normal self! When you meet people your discussion is about general things rather then your ex. Ask your close associates weather they have seen any positive change in you. Try to going to parties and make note if you are enjoy it or feeling out of place. Search online dating services and find out your interest in other people. If you feel good when you see other people's profile this is the sign that you have no feelings left for your ex.

Do you want someone to share life with?

If you feel that you are lonely and you want someone special in your life to care for you in every step of life, then you must go through online dating service and try to find a perfect match for you. But this time be careful and make sure that you are sensible enough to make a wise decision.

Carryout self analysis:

As you had a break up once, so be ready to except this fact that there could be a possibility of misunderstanding from your side in your last break up. If so, try to overcome that flaw for better future. Now you are ready to go for date with your right match.

Children of Divorce

Marriages end for many reasons, and for most couples, the only way to end it is through divorce. Prenuptial agreements are the norm these days for precisely this reason; it assures the couple of a relatively fair division of assets and properties. However, for couples with children, divorce presents a more difficult problem: custody. More often than not, it's the children who are the casualties of divorce, especially an acrimonious one. Children feel just as much emotional stress as their divorcing parents, if not more. Being caught in the middle of a divorce is a traumatic experience; they may even blame themselves for their family breaking up.


Many parents fight over child custody: who gets to keep the children, whether to relocate or not, and visitation rights. It is important to keep in mind that the children must remain the divorcing couple's highest priority. The psychological damage of seeing one's mother and father fighting may take years to heal, especially with kids old enough to understand the implications of divorce in their lives. Children need reassurance that both parents still love them, in spite of their marriage not working out. It also helps for the mother and father to talk to their kids and explain what is going on, in simple terms they will understand. The most important thing for divorcing couples to remember is to put their children's interests above their own, and provide emotional support during this uncertain time. After all, the end of a marriage does not end one's obligation to love and nurture the product of that union.

Dating After Divorce For Women - Are You Turning Men Off?

Dating after divorce for women, but turning men off and don't have a clue as to why it's happening? In order to succeed in the dating world, you have to be aware of dating turn offs. Otherwise, you are in for an uphill battle and a lot of frustration.

If you have landed yourself on a date with the guy you like, then good for you. Nevertheless, there are certain things you should know if you want to go on a second date. In order to successfully do this, you need to know what turn men off during a date. The following are some common dating turn offs you need to avoid.

Perhaps the most common turn off is talking too much, especially about your ex husband. Talking about how terrible your ex husband is a big no-no. You may think that you're being honest and just showing the guy your true self. However, it doesn't work that way.

He may nod his head and look interested, but in reality, he's thinking of getting out of there. So, don't make the whole affair about you. Show interest with the person across the table from you and avoid doing all the chitchat.

If you are still hurting inside, you don't have to show it by neglecting your appearance. It can be a huge dating turn off if you don't take care of how you look. Keep in mind that during the first date you would be promoting and selling yourself. Of course, you don't have to dress like some executive on her way to a business meeting. On the other hand, you need to dress up smart.

This means that you should not wear an outfit that is too revealing. This will not only cause embarrassment to yourself, but also to your date. You don't want to look like a hooker, right? The key if you want to grab his attention is to wear something that compliments your figure. Just show enough skin that would feed his imagination.

Another huge turn off for men is women who are simply pessimistic about everything. Do not complain about other people and life in general. Furthermore, avoid using negative stereotypes since you may insult your date. Try to have this lively and positive outlook towards life. Nobody would want to start a relationship with someone who is full of negativity. Remember, you're on a date, not inside the office of a psychologist. There are still plenty of opportunities to discuss your problems once you're in a relationship.

Your main objective is to get your date interested in you and eager to see you again. Try to build an aura of mystery around you. Talk about things in your life, but not everything that has happened and is happening. Disclose just enough information to keep your date guessing. So you see, dating after divorce can become successful if you know how to avoid these dating turn offs.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Living Together In Divorce - The Need To Set Boundaries

Like so many divorcing couples throughout the world you have made a decision to stay together until what you both think is a suitable time to divorce and part for good. This can be because you want to sell your house, settle your combined debts or just live together so you can both raise your children.

In order to create a harmonious environment to co-exist in you will need to set some boundaries. Imagine an invisible line drawn around you which determines what you let in or out. The line is your boundary and if you're ex husband or wife walks over it carelessly you will need to tell them it is not acceptable.

A situation where having clear boundaries in place could be your sleeping arrangements. If you have separate bedrooms and one partner thinks it is okay to come into your room when they feel like it you will have to firmly let them know they have crossed your boundary line. Make it clear you do not want to have to put a lock on your door but if your ex does not stop stepping over your boundaries you will be forced too.

Mutual respect is the name of the game here and never will it be as important as two ex married people living in the same house. You will have to define your boundaries at the beginning of your new living arrangement so there is confusion or unnecessary conflict.

Going from husband and wife to roommates is a huge adjustment so I have no doubt that at times you will challenge each other's boundaries.

If the word BOUNDARY was not been recognized in your marriage then the both of you could be in trouble as the lack of any boundary setting could be the reason you broke up. In some homes there is a more dominant partner who calls the shots while the more submissive partner does as they are told. If this was the status quo of your marriage then staying together will not work.

When verbalizing your feelings on a subject such as the sleeping arrangements talk gently but be assertive. Getting angry and saying things that are hurtful will only make the situation worse. Good communication is based on listening to what a person has to say and then them allowing you to do the same. It is not about name-calling and control tactics.

Another area you will need definition is in the continued raising of your children. If there is any debate you should take it away from the children who have possibly seen enough upset at the end of your marriage. You cannot get into heated arguments in front of your kids otherwise they will be better off living with one parent. The reasons you have chosen to stay together may be based on financial survival but please do not forget that your children will become victims if their parents chose to carry on a war in front of them. It is also abusive if you allow it to continue.

Remember you are getting a divorce eventually so try to relax.

No one said living together during a divorce would be easy but a level of maturity is needed to make it work. Each ex partner has to rise above any petty issues and respect each other's boundaries.

This could be a lesson for you both as you learn how to appreciate each other's right to their own way of thinking and doing things. Boundary setting in any kind of relationship is essential for a healthy and happy atmosphere. You need to understand that we all have our own unique ways of how we look at the world and our place in it.

In any relationship there has to be give and take but there also has to be forgiveness.

Copyright (c) 2010 Linda Cole

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Post Divorce Co-Parenting Tips

You become co-parents the moment you decide to divorce. For the upbringing of the kids, an agreement has to be devised in a friendly legal separation too. Your children should come before anything else, regardless of whatever bad feelings you have towards the other parent, because this is important for co-parenting.

One of the most important things after a divorce is to find out if you can discuss co-parenting with your spouse. It's excellent if you are sure of doing it. If the two of you are working towards presenting a united front, you will forge the strongest agreements. If you are not comfortable with the topic co-parenting, then avoid it completely. With regard to co-parenting discussions, mediators or therapists may provide professional assistance to both of you. It has to be executed perfectly as it is very essential.

Make sure your divorce agreement includes all the important issues instead of trying to improvise privately. Your co-parenting will improve if you pay attention to detail now. A good divorce lawyer will insist upon very detailed and comprehensive child custody guidelines. Failure to do this will most likely result in a variety of future issues that include parental misunderstandings, unexpected court dates and additional attorney fees.

Keep the exchange of money to the very minimum - do not make an attempt to split children expenses 50/50. Rather, be sure you write down all the future expenses for which you'll be responsible so that after the divorce, you know what the two of you will have to pay for in terms of your children. You can't expect everything to be evenly split. However, remember that things will sort themselves out over the years. Parents need to sit down and restructure who pays what. If you can't talk about this, you need to bring in a professional to help.

When you bring those close to you together for the first time, it is best to prepare in advance. If the divorce is on account of infidelity, it becomes a sensitive issue. The aspect needs to be looked into to avoid complication later.

Even if there are no obvious parent-child problems, schedule post-divorce meetings with each other just to discuss how the children are managing. If things are going well, they can always be canceled; but, when the opposite is true, they remain imperative.

Although it's been repeated over and over, I feel it's very important to emphasize the usefulness of trained professionals when dealing with co-parenting problems. This can prevent a lot of grief, save you money, and allow your children to continue to grow with the love and stability of two parents.

Finally, co-parenting after a divorce is a difficult thing to do. It requires commitment, versatility, and sometimes conceding for your kids' sake. I have discussed some of the seemingly insignificant problems with divorced parents during my course of private practice. When I questioned them about why they can't do it by themselves, I hear three typical responses. "We had to come to an agreement or take it to trial, and we really don't comprehend the terms we agreed to." "We felt that we'd be able to resolve it ourselves, yet we can't talk without arguing." "We never received any advise on this matter from our attorneys" In order to become good parents, you need to do what is in the best interest of your kids, even sacrificing your personal interests.

Time With Your Children After Divorce

After divorce is finalized, a parenting schedule is usually specified for each parent, depending on his or her circumstances. Parents are advised to fight for all the time they want and feel they can give for the child. However, once the child gets older, around the age of 9 or 10, and chooses to extend or lessen time spent with a parent, it must be considered. It is a child's legal right to contact a parent as he wishes but supervision or prohibition is made in special cases where the child may be in danger. Some parents may also be required to take parenting classes.


Divorced parents must always consider their children's welfare during this difficult time. Children are usually the victims of this unfortunate event. Though fighting for custody is a parent's instinct, it will make you more of a good parent to settle on what will be good not just for yourself but your child. Consider any aspect that may keep you from being an effective parent before committing to more than you can handle. Take into account your work schedule, priorities and other factors that may affect your ability to be a father. Accordingly, spend as much quality time with your child after divorce. This will help them heal better. As impossible as it may seem, it is recommended to give in to an agreeable settlement with your partner for your children's sake. Now would be a perfect time to put your personal rifts aside and think of the real sufferers in this situation.

Women Dating After Divorce - Dating Advice

Retiring to bed alone at night can seem strange to certain women. This is in the case of women who have been married for years and have had children with a man. Feelings of depression and loneliness are not abnormal. Losing a loved one after divorce can be likened to losing a loved one to death. The same five stages of denial, resentment, anger, depression and eventually acceptance are experienced. It is possible that only after these five emotions have been experienced, that the women are ready to become women dating after divorce.

It can be the case that these women find themselves feeling as though they are feeling pressure to start dating and they are not yet ready for this. If they still have feelings for the ex husband, this could be problematic. Failure or perceived failure at a marriage can bring about low self-esteem. The women can find themselves feeling unattractive and unsuitable to men because of this. While going through these emotions, they also do not want to be left to their own devices for the rest of their lives.

Occasionally divorced women become easy prey for married men, these men specialize in making such women feel special and loved. This is in the early stages. In truth, it is rare that married men will leave their wives and children for another woman, no matter what the circumstances. The divorced women could find themselves waiting night after night for a phone call or a visit that is never going to materialize. Meantime the women shun family and friends on the off-chance that the man will show up for a visit. The men carry on merrily with their wives and kids and the divorced women have burnt bridges with their families and friends.

Divorced women who want to start dating again often experience guilt. This is especially true if these women have children. Aside from having to arrange baby sitters and operating as one parent, the children can often resent the relationship with another man. This is particularly the case if the children and the father enjoy a loving relationship.

The divorced women should always encourage good relationships between children and their fathers. A positive co parenting relationship is possible despite any personal differences that exist between the men and women. The children should always come first and the parents should happily share the responsibilities of parenting their children. While the children are seeing their fathers then the women have time enough to meet with other men.

For men it is a turn off when women wish to get too serious too fast. This is because these two people have different genetic make-ups. Men take things slowly when it comes to dating and women tend to want to go a lot faster.

For women the goal is usually to find a lifetime partner and live happily ever after. Men have different ideas when initiating a relationship. Men only fall in love when they truly know the women.

This is why men do not have issues with dating different women at the same time. When women become too needy too early on then this can be a sign to slow the relationship down drastically. Sometimes these men just disappear and the relationship is over.

Parenting Guidelines After Divorce

1. Tell your children the truth, with simple explanations. Tell them where the other parent is.


2. Don't bring up grievances or speaking derogatorily about the other parent to or in front of your children.


3. Don't discuss financial, legal or other disputes with your children.


4. Don't say things that might discourage your children from spending time with the other parent.


5. Don't pressure them to take sides.


6. Don't argue, fight, or make threats in the presence of your children.


7. Keep agreements you make with the other parent. Be reliable and prompt, so the children can depend on and trust both parents. Avoid scheduling activities for the children which conflict with the visitation schedule, and if unable to keep the scheduled arrangements, notify the other parent as soon as possible.


8. Don't use your children to get back at or send messages to your ex-spouse. Children in the crossfire get terribly wounded.


9. Children may feel responsible for the divorce or may try to bring parents back together. Let them know they are not to blame and that your decision is final.


10. Divorcing parents may feel guilty and overindulgent. Set limits with your children.


11. Continue to be the parent and seek other adults to fill your relationship needs. Don't allow your child to become "man of the house" or "little mother".


12. Arrange for both parents to be notified and be authorized to act in an emergency. Keep the other parent, school, and daycare advised of your current residence address and telephone numbers.


13. Reassure them that they will be safe, secure, and cared for; even though marital love may end, parent love endures.


14. Spend as much time as possible with each child individually.


15. Be patient with yourself and your children.

Why Is Moving on From Divorce So Hard for Men?

Men find moving on from divorce to be an incredibly difficult task. A statement that might cause some debate, but time and again studies have shown men being more prone to health issue both physical and mental after a divorce than women with an increase in the rate of depression, anxiety, sickness and of course - suicide. This is not to diminish the pain a woman must suffer as well of course, but the statistics show they do indeed cope better than men.

So why is it that men find it difficult to move on and start life afresh once their marriage is over? Is it society, genetics, the law? This article will look at a few reasons why men have a rough time after divorce.

1. Not Asking For Help

Men are our own worst enemies sometimes. We see everything as a problem to be fixed, a nail that needs hammering that we will do on our own. We all like to think of ourselves as independent problem solvers. However how many of usually do call the plumber when the situation goes beyond your knowledge? How many of you actually know how to really fix a car engine? Some of us are experts at these things, most are not. Your mind is an engine that you probably don't know enough about to mend on your own DIY style and you suffer more the less help you get.

2. Less Helpful Resources

Women usually have a better social network to help them cope with divorce, but there are also many more agencies out there specialising in helping women recover form trauma of all sorts. This is wonderful and needed, but men have only a fraction of these sorts of resources both socially and professionally. The lack of support and the lack of knowledge of support can hurt means chances of overcoming divorce pain.

3. Feelings of Being Judged

Some men might want to seek help, but feel if they do they will be judges as weak by other men and woman too. Trying to fill the stoic male role has hurt more men than you realise who needed mental health help but were too scared to seek it.

4. Loss of Identity

This is a big issue I believe. Both sexes tie their identity to their marriage, but I feel that men often (but not always) tie who they are to their marriage more strongly than a woman does. Perhaps this is because women no longer have society telling them to be a perfect wife and instead get a career and a life and so forth. Men though are often pushed to feel they should always be better husbands and start to identify that as who they are. Just as their job often defines much more about them and if they lose that, they feel less of a man as a similar example.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Tips Dealing With Loneliness After Divorce

Most women cannot fathom what a man newly divorced goes through after a divorce. The anguish and pain can sometimes be unbearable. As if a battered self-image was punishment enough, the financial cost of the divorce can leave you with a feeling that would crush any "stand up" guy. Moreover, we are not even talking about the often nasty custody battle that many times is the final "nail" in the coffin of loneliness that often follows a divorce.

Well, there's a couple of things here that are vital that you understand in order to get yourself on your feet again and actively taking the path towards your own crafted new happy life, filled with beautiful and exciting women! Let's get rid of this loneliness business for the divorced man, once and for all.

Work On Your Self-Esteem

First and foremost, when we look at divorced men and loneliness, you will find that your self-esteem will be on the low side. It is vital to bring your self-image and self-esteem up to speed. Low self -esteem will create loneliness. Too, not only is that bad for your mental health, but it will kill your game with women.

One thing first: there is nothing wrong with you. What you are feeling is perfectly normal and ok.
I don't care who has told you that you "had a good thing with your "ex." Screw that. You are going to get what you want from your life this time around!

But, people will make you feel like it was your fault. I think that was one of the things I hated so much about my divorce. It's not rocket science: people change or just grow apart. It happens. Most of the time, the two never should have gotten married in the first place. It's not as bad as you would think. Enlighten that chatterbox in your head that it's going to be ok.

Just remember this: whatever doesn't kill you will only make you stronger!

I like calling it being a "he-man" about it and not be a wimp. I know it's painful, but you are going to have to be a man and own up to your responsibilities to yourself. I thought this was crazy at the time, but all of that pain you are suffering is actually going to help you over time. It's like the old saying: whatever doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Know, that in time, that pain is going to recede.

Courage is the cure to the pain that divorce brings.

Courage: Have It Fuel You Decisions To Give You Everything You Deserve!

Hence the solution: courage. Courage is having to do the right thing, even though you are not certain of the outcome; it takes a little faith--faith in yourself. You have to make the decision that you deserve to be happy. Moreover, you need to make a decision to actively get out there and meet women.

A great saying is this, "A new nail drives out an old one. " Remember that when you might miss your ex.

The solution to loneliness is to find a new women in your life. That should be your new goal and focus of attention. It will at the least keep you from a self-pity situation which is not good for your mental health.

Onwards.

A decision is a solitary thing you must do on your own. But, with courage you can do it. (Know that after you make a decision, that people out of nowhere will come to help you achieve what you've decided to do, like me!)

Now that you understand these two important elements, it's time for the last important component...

The Fork In The Road

Look, there's another saying you have to understand and use, and that is this: If you are at a fork in the road, take it!

No question about it, this is important to comprehend. What this means is that you actively have to get yourself out there to end loneliness in your post divorced life. Get yourself out into the social scene and meet women! Don't get confused or depressed and stay home and mope: that's staying at the "fork."

My other posts will talk about social circle as a powerful way to meet women, but you need to go to social events. When your friends tell you that they are having a party or they are going out for dinner with friends, that's what I am talking about. Just get the hell out there and take that fork in the road.

Or, you can go out to the coffee house and start a "chat" with a woman you see and are attracted to. Speed dating would be great too. Sign up with a buddy and have some fun. Or, you can hang out with your friends that are women and go out with them. No friends that are women? Make them. Go out and take that "fork in the road!"

If you take these three important tips, women will fill your life, and you will even forget that you felt sad and that you were even dealing with loneliness at all!

What Usually Happens After Divorce

Divorce is briefly defined as the end of a marital union. When couples are divorced, their legal duties and responsibilities towards each other ends. When a person is divorced, that person is allowed to remarry as they wish.


Because of the stress and complications happening during the divorce process, people involved in it are usually placed in a very vulnerable state. They tend to remarry to other people because it's the most convenient thing to do. Statistics say most marriages that happen after the divorce are meant to fail. This is primarily because some individuals marry another person while in the transition or during the rebound.


Remarriage can be compared to another marriage only this time it is the second time around. Two people who share plenty of hopes, love and sex to build up another life together. You may even consider it as a usual marriage, because you know that somebody will be sleeping beside you, the kitchen will be busy again. But you cannot still hide the fact that this is already the second time you've done this.


It is very important that before you set off marrying somebody else, you make an assessment on the previous relationship - what went wrong and the issues that you've encountered. When you enter into another marriage, make sure that you are dedicated to make the relationship work.


It's not impossible to make remarriage a success, but it needs a lot of effort to make it work out after divorce. As the saying goes "it's sweeter the second time around."

Being Single Post Divorce

Did you wake up one day single after a brutal divorce? What the hell do I do now, you may be asking yourself. A moment please: I have fantastic news here. If you think about it, you can now create any type of life you want: you are in control and can build a fantastic life for yourself. Like it's a new beginnings for your life.

Grasping this will become so important. You will inherit a hug block of time, now, despite your responsibilities. Now, whether that's good or bad, it's entirely up to you.
Here are simple ways of getting your life back on track for the man who is just recently (or not) made single after divorce.

What you have to do is build a cool life-style.

What the heck am I saying here? Understanding the fact that you now possess something valued: freedom. Incredible things can happen with that personal freedom. Taking a minute to pause and think about it:

-Having astonishing encounters with new and amazing women.

-For you, meeting new and dynamic people.

-You will have all sorts of new adventures in your life.

-You can pursue all of those things you were wanting to, but couldn't because you were stuck in that marriage.... but the only way this is going to happen is for you to take positive action by deciding to do so.

Focus Your Life On What You Want--Then Go For It!

Since you have gone through the divorce and that you are single again, you can steer your life where you want it to go. As a man that has gone through a divorce, the one thing that I wanted to do was to have choice with women so as to make the right decision when the next time to marry arose.

I did think about this for some time. With all the women I was with--and especially the ones that didn't work out--I was the constant. I had to realize that no matter whose fault it was in the end, I had to take 100% full responsibility so that I could move forward with my life. With that, I had in my mind to get myself and my life in order. So I worked on my self esteem, life-style, and my ability to attract women to me.

Now, that was me. Everyone's destination can be different; that's OK. If you can get this "women" thing mastered, it is my strong belief, through experience, that all other facets of your life will fall into place. For sure, you can pursue something else if you would like: they all are just different paths leading to the top of the mountain. Move everything about you toward what YOU want, and move your life in that direction. Let that purpose or goal define your life. This will be the your new focus of attention.
Some cool examples:

-Mastering once and for all, women, dating, and relationships.

-Work on becoming a musician.

-Become a captain of a small ship like a yacht. -Get an avid interest in biking.

-Travel the world.

-Participate in a physical sport like soccer or baseball; maybe a non-physical one like fishing.

-Get healthy and become a long distance runner and train for a marathon.

What I am trying to show you here is that if you focus on something you have passion for, it will refocus your energy on something other than feeling sorry for yourself and the fact that you are single after a divorce.

Indeed, it would be a bad thing if you made the divorce and everything about it, the focus of your attention. Divorce for so many men can mean "failure," which it is not. It can wreak havoc in your life.

That low self-esteem that follows can become extremely toxic. That's one of the primary reason that divorced men become alcoholics.

If that happens to you, it is just unhealthy. By contrast, put the focus of your attention on something infinitely more constructive like what you are passionate about. Let your mind attract itself to something positive.

Wonderfully, whatever you pursue, it will only help you gain more masculine power.

In a way, it's a great adventure of finding "yourself." The main benefit of this is that you will start to attract women by default, because you don't have your "heart on your sleeve" and that you have a life-style you have built from the ground up. It is important to note here not to ever make the woman more important than the life you are about to create.

As you can see the importance of building a new lifestyle. If you follow this, genuinely, divorce can be extremely liberating. By following your passion, you can survive this difficult time.

Moreover, in the near distant future, you will actually be looking back at this time as a period of positive growth.

Divorce 101: Living With Change

Life is uncertain. Things happen in just a blink of an eye and often times we are not sure on where it will take us. Getting into marriage is one life-changing decision. It is seen as taking a big leap in life not knowing what and where it will bring you. It involves taking on big responsibilities as two people unite to create a family.


There are several factors that either make or break a union of two people. Differences will be one of the great challenges that couples undergo. Some couples undergo financial crisis. However, in whatever challenge there may be, it always depends on the two persons involved. Unfortunately, there are some couples that can't cope with these challenges. Differences and challenges are not settled, making them unable to work with and resolve marital problems. The decision to separate and get into divorce becomes their only option at happiness.


Getting into a divorce is another life changing experience. It usually starts at a point when you decide to separate and let go of things that you used to do together. This is the hardest part, letting go and living a life alone, and moving forward without a partner.


Most individuals who are in the situation of separation or divorce are coping double time on initially being alone. With this, your mindset is important. Dealing with change, living alone and raising your kids alone are all part of the circumstances that each one has to deal with.


Change may be on the negative side at first instance, but it will always be up to the person on how they handle things.

Divorce Advice - Rebuilding Your Social Life After Divorce

Singles socialise too. Being half of a couple involves you in opportunities to socialise with each other's friends and family, each other's work colleagues and sports teams, club members etc. Being single simply means that you socialise with your own circle of friends, your family, though some people manage to maintain relationships with their ex-partner's family, your work colleagues, your sports or other club contacts.


Children can be a great help to establishing a new social network, encourage them to invite their friend's home, make an effort to meet their friend's parents, invite them in for coffee when they collect their children.


Becoming single is a great opportunity to review your life, remember what you thought you'd like to do but never had time for, get in touch with who you are and what you are interested in. You have to ask yourself if you would rather spend your life pleasing yourself or being half of a partnership that wasn't pleasing anybody.


I have a friend who began to study archaeology and now spends 2 months of every year on excavations in Turkey, the rest of the time she is a contract nurse for a private health care company. She takes care of single people on their discharge from hospital after major surgery.


Before her divorce she worked night shifts in the local hospital, her ex-husband worked days and they shared the child care between their shifts. Looking back, she says, it's no wonder they divorced, they hardly ever spent any time together, and he occupied his evenings with more than childcare. However, I digress.


Archaeology was a lifelong interest and divorce was the opportunity to change her life, her job and make some time to pursue her interests. Her children live with her most of the time but when she travels they go to stay with their father.


Following an interest has opened up a wide range of social opportunities for this lady.


Accept invitations - even if you don't feel like it.? Never forget that life moves very fast, your friends will be over your divorce far quicker than you will. While your situation is fresh in their minds they will invite you to join them and meet new people. If you constantly refuse, you will drop off their radar. Accept every invitation and return the compliment within the month. People enjoy being asked out and it doesn't have to cost much. You can invite your friends to your place for coffee and homemade scones, you don't have to cook up a gourmet dinner. Invite them to come for dessert and coffee and watch a film.


Visit several health clubs or gyms, check out the age group and types of people that use them, find one that you are comfortable with and join - especially if it has a coffee bar attached. Go at the same time every week for a while then change your time for a couple of weeks or add in another session. Go back to your old time and make conversation with the original group, this way you can double your contacts.


A word of caution, be careful of looking for friends online unless you go through a reputable company. There are more and more stories around of people making friends on line and then being asked to help their new friend in some way- usually by sending money!? Which of course they never see again, and suddenly the friend is no longer available to chat!?


There are also people who use dating sites and agencies for devious purposes. Many people following divorce have very quickly become involved in a new relationship only to find that after a couple of years it's all over and they are losing half their possessions and property all over again.


The internet does provide opportunities to meet new friends - just be careful.


You do have to push yourself quite hard to get out there and build up your social life, these are just a few tips to get you started, the important thing is to get started!


I heard of one man that spent a lot of time in airport bars, he reckoned that people on the move were more willing to chat. They have time on their hands, it's not unusual to be alone in an airport and you can always talk about flight times, delays etc. His line was that he was waiting for his daughter. He collected phone numbers and email addresses from some of the people he met and did make some friends.


Have faith in yourself, you are still the same person you were before you got married. Treat your divorce as an opportunity to live life the way you want it.?

Facing Life After Divorce

How do you deal with the aftermath of divorce? Some couples go their separate ways through a mutual decision - those who view it as unavoidable and inevitable, the natural end to a partnership that for various reasons simply did not work out. They are the lucky ones. For most divorced couples, what comes after may be even harder than the proceedings.

So how do you get through it?

Get a support group. This could mean other family members, or friends. Having a strong network of friends and family will help you get through this difficult time. Talking about whatever you are experiencing also helps ease the burden.

Write it all down. Never underestimate the power of putting it all down on paper. Get a journal and just write, write, write. Don't filter yourself, just let it all out. It will help you gain some clarity and insight, and also lift some weight off your shoulders. You'd be surprised about what you'll learn from seeing your own thoughts articulated and jotted down.

Learn something new. Or get back into something you've neglected for a long time. Have you ever wanted to learn a new language? Now is the perfect time to do so. Have you been neglecting your garden, or ignoring the growing stack of books on your nightstand? Do something for yourself, and take time to enjoy something you genuinely love. You deserve it.

Get up, dust yourself off, and move on. This won't come easy, but there will come a point when you will have to come to terms with the fact that your marriage has ended, and you'll need to start rebuilding a life without your partner. No one ever gained anything by dwelling on the past. Focus on the future, and just keep going.

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Dennis Gac - EzineArticles Expert Author

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Divorce and How to Recover From It - The First Step

Divorce for men is a hearth wrenching time with an incredible effect on your emotions, your motivation and at the core of it - your identity as a man in our society. Divorce, and how to recover form it for guys, is not something that is talked about enough either to help men struggling to cope. Men themselves must bear much of the blame though as we are not very willing to find help ourselves out of fear of being labeled weak.


The truth is that most divorced guys completely understand what you are going through as we have been there ourselves. Not only that, the stoic man stereotype is not something that you should model yourself on when you are in distress. The repercussions of repressing those feelings come out in very bad ways such as alcoholism, anger, violence, domineering and all sorts of other nasty side effects.


So the first bit of advice is to get some help, don't push it all down inside you. You can get help in a number of ways:

Family - Your own flesh and blood are usually the best place to go and will be more understanding and know you and usually want to help. Not everyone has a good relationship with their families of course but it might also be a chance to heal old wounds as well. The old saying blood is thicker than water is largely true Friends - As manly as we like to appear to our friends, not everyone is uncomfortable with talking about their feelings and emotions. Even if your friends are, just having friends to support you in other ways just so you know you have someone who has your back in this time is important. Online - A good place to start as you are obviously here. Other places such as forums and social websites with a relationship, self help or divorce slant can be good to connect with others in the same situation. Support Centres - There are not all that many around but many states and countries in general have a few places dedicated to helping men after divorce. There are also many other that specialise in depression and so forth. They are all very understanding and empathic to your situation so don't shy away if you really need that help!

There is so much more to cover of course, but the first thing is being willing to get some help because it is not possible to get through this quickly on your own no matter how self sufficient you think you are. If you want to get started somewhere anonymously to get your head around this entire divorce idea and how you should be moving forward despite the pain and suffering, click below to visit my website and learn more about recovering from divorce.

Effects of Divorce - How to Make Your Kids Lightly Cope With It

If you as well as your spouse have done everything to make the marriage work but still you are unable to make things go smoothly as before, maybe staying together just for the sake of the children is not the best solution for the problem. Looking at everything closely and deeply, maybe divorce is the better option instead of just living together for the kid's sake. Honestly, just the mere thought of living in an environment filled with everyday shouting and bickering more precisely serious fighting would not be good for the children. Specifically it is far more serious and harmful compared to dealing with the effects of divorce that they will go through when you decide to give it a go.

Being the parents, it is important that you know how to handle the effects of divorce in your children. The first and the most important advice are to explain everything to them from the start of the divorce proceedings. It is imperative that you use words that they can easily grasp. As you go along explaining to them how they will be affected by everything, it is important that you always assure them that it is not their fault and the decision for filing a divorce is a mutual decision between you and your spouse. In doing so, you will prevent the possibility of your children to hold grudges with the person in case you would blame for the separation. Even if the kids know the real scenario, it is your responsibility as a sensible parent not to blame the other party in the children's eye.

No matter how close you are to your kids, it is not a good idea that you share your emotions about the divorce with your kids. If you do, they would be facing the bad effects of divorce that should have been avoided if you were responsible enough. It is important that you remind your kids to love both of you equally even if they already know the reason why you decided to move on to divorce.

You need to assure your kids that you will do everything in order to make their lives just the way it was as much as possible. Make it a point that they will not sacrifice their schooling just because their parents separated. It would be a good idea to inform the teacher about what is going on with your family especially if you are going through a divorce. This is for them to know the reason behind the sudden change of behavior of your child, in case there will be. Since your child is at school most of the days, the teacher would be the best person who can provide you with updated information on how your kid is dealing with the present situation in the family.

In the event that one of you would decide to enter a relationship even if the divorce proceeding is still ongoing or even after, it is important that you do not make your child cope with it suddenly. It would be better to introduce your new partner as a friend so as not to create a negative implication on your kid. Normally, the children would still expect reconciliation even if divorce has been settled by you and your spouse. There is the great possibility that they will look upon your new partner as a hindrance to their wish and prevent them from forming a good relationship with your newfound partner.

There will always be an instance wherein one parent would not be able to keep up with what is agreed upon when it comes to being responsible parents even after divorce. In case one was not able to make it to a school gathering or an event where both parents need to attend, you have to keep away from emphasizing the blame for the non-attendant. This will not have a good effect on your child when it comes to handling the divorce positively.

It is not the kids fault why the relationship has ended, thus it is important that you learn how to properly handle the situation to prevent the effects of divorce striking back negatively on your kids. You have to be careful about this aspect because they might carry this out onwards adulthood.