Divorce can be one of the most painful and tiring period for any married couple to undergo. There is no excuse or escape from all the mixed emotions that goes along with it. Confusion, anger, loneliness and the feeling of betrayal whether you are the leaving or the being left party. The whole process of divorce that both partners need to go through is already as exhausting as it sounds. But that doesn't end there.
The bigger challenge lies after the divorce. This is the stage where you completely see, absorb and then realize the big change that had just happened in your life while at this same time, you're just about to start working on how to heal yourself from the pain of either humiliation or depression caused by the divorce. And the weight of living alone again is just beginning.
You maybe are full of doubts, questions and fear during this period. However, this is just plain normal. You may even hear yourself asking inside your head questions like 'Where will I start to pick things up again? And am I doing this right?' Now, don't freak out even though you already feel like exploding. Instead, gather all this strong emotions and use it as a tool to channel the feelings into focusing on an effective moving-on pace because this is where you have to begin.
Below is a list of suggested and proven effective strategies on how you can smoothly adjust to this new life and new self - while living alone again.
Accept all the emotions. There is no point in denying the pain, uncertainty, solitude and all this commotion of feelings inside you. Admit to yourself that you are just human and at this point your being one. So take it slow and give yourself time to breath in all this emotions. Do not be afraid to show tears, to ask questions, to display panic and even badmouth your blame if you feel you need to. Let it all out.
Seek for companionship. As for the notably known adage, 'No man is an island.' Get-up-and-go and you will find a companion. It may not be a new lover or partner because at this point, you are not yet emotionally ready to enter another turmoil. So, find yourself a friend whom you can spend time with. It could be a relative, an acquaintance, a co-worker or a neighbor. Dial the phone, give them a call and plan an activity with them.
Recall who you were. Peep back and try to remember some of the dreams, desire and things you have longed to do you had to set aside before because of your marriage. It's time to give these dreams and aspirations a chance. Add something more like doing new favors to yourself. After all, it's all about you once again.
Pack, throw and move. If you decide to stay in the same house or apartment, then pack and throw those things even memories that would remind you of your ex-partner. Amuse yourself and try to rearrange the whole place, by the way you are living alone again, you've got only yourself to please. If you feel like moving, give yourself a go.
Go out on a date. It is never too late to try and find the one again. Trust yourself 'cause this time, you know you are a lot smarter than before. S/He is out there; you simply need to stumble on.
It maybe scary and hard, but things do happen for a reason. We merely have to fight and try a little harder than usual because in the end, everything will fall into their right places.
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