Divorce or at least the earlier separation can be like a bolt out of the blue for some people. Others are well aware that it's imminent and will be planning for it. Either way you have to get your life back on track after a divorce.
Depending on what has happened you may find yourself living alone or with your new partner, if you have left your marriage to be with someone else. A change in your living circumstances is one of the great stressors in life, let alone coping with the financial and emotional upheavals. However, there is nothing to be gained from living in the past.
How do you get your life back on track after a divorce?
1. Look at yourself first, how are you feeling, do you need some help to come to terms with what has happened.
2. Organise and understand your new financial situation, if you have children, make sure you get access and child support set up from the start.
3. Make sure your boss and close friends know what is happening so that they can understand if you need time off work or extra help.
4. Make a weekly timetable, to keep you focused and to make sure you get some time to recharge your batteries.
5. Accept invitations from from friends to socialise, it is important to push yourself into keeping up with your social set. If you refuse too often, they will stop asking.
6. Be civil with your ex-husband or wife, it will make things easier for your children and also make future contact easier.
7. Don't hang out your dirty laundry in public, stick to the moral high ground, you don't do yourself any favours by going around discussing all your ex's faults.
8. See every day and an opportunity to create the kind of life you want. Make a life board or book of your ideal life.
9. Make yourself a promise to try one new thing or go somewhere you haven't been before once every month.
10. Become an active member of your community, join your school parent's association, volunteer at your local hospice, do something for somebody else.
Getting your life back on track after divorce takes a lot of determination and effort, even if the split has been by mutual agreement, it is still one of life's major upsets. It is especially difficult if you are the one that has been left behind. At times of great stress people tend to neglect their health, exercise and healthy eating give way to snacking, endless coffees and sitting around talking or wondering what to do next. Taking the time to eat well and maintain your exercise routine will go a long way to helping you cope with the stress your body has to deal with during the upheaval of divorce, house moves, consoling children, dealing with the financial and legal stuff.
In some ways getting over or though a divorce may like recovering from a bereavement, there may be a great sense of loss for the life you had, and you have to make plans to fill the void with purposeful, positive activities. This is especially important if you are the main carer for your children, they don't have the understanding of the situation that you have and there will be times when you have to put your feelings to one side to make sure that your children feel loved and secure. Children tend to blame themselves for things that happen, it is hugely important that they are reassured and helped to understand that this is about the adults, not them.
You may feel that you have lost your confidence, it is hard work re-establishing yourself as a single person when you have been half of a partnership. Take some time to write down all the things you can do, doesn't matter if you are good or not, just that you can do it. You'll be amazed at just how much you can do. Ask your best friend to describe you, listen out for your good points. We all have more good points than we realise.
Get in touch with your soul or higher self, whatever you like to call it, reconnect with your purpose in life. Take time to meditate or pray every day and spend time quietly listening for guidance. Too often we lose touch with our higher selves and our creator, I don't mind what you call your God, just spend time connecting, be grateful that you have the awareness to know that you are not alone.
There is a wealth of material available on manifesting the life you want, however, my recommendations would be to read books by Neale Donald Walsch or Deepak Chopra.
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