The trouble with divorce recovery for guys is that we are notorious for not seeking help and treating every problem no matter how delicate like a nail that needs hammering. This may work for many problems in life, but not for the deep psychological issues that a divorce can cause in a man, it can in fact make it worse.
This can cause a primal reaction in men - fight or flight. To get angry and fight against yourself or your ex wife because you feel you need to WIN something. Or flight, where you might withdraw completely hoping the danger will pass.
As you can imagine, neither approaches work very well when the problem is in your own head and needs a different approach completely!
What recovery from divorce requires is a radical shift in how you see yourself and your place in society. Your ego is what is really hurting and your self esteem plummets and all the mind wants to do is take the easiest option and keep things the same. Change is hard and you have been forced to do it immediately causing all sorts of psychological short circuits.
You need to reinvent yourself, but this means going through an emotional process that can be taxing, but will reveal to yourself what change needs to take place in our life.
There are however many practical things you can do to help this along. There are mental exercises you can do to help you lessen the intensity of painful memories. There are psychological tricks to help your self esteem and self respect. There are also boundaries you can set yourself to stay sane and be a better person and father.
What you really need is information that you can construct a plan around. One that moves you forward into the unknown as prepared as you can be and with some clear goals set out before you.
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