Don't Be Lonely After Your Divorce

Divorce is probably the one life event guaranteed to bring out the worst in most people.

Of course you want your fair share, you've worked hard you deserve it - but isn't your partner saying exactly the same thing? They also want their fair share and think they deserve it.

Life isn't always fair. Divorce most certainly challenges your concept of what is fair, however, if you can work together to come to an agreement you will at least save a small fortune on legal fees.

Don't lose sight of reality and get caught up in point scoring, sometimes you have to cut your losses and take the opportunity to get on with your life. Your relationship is over how much more of your life do you want to spend arguing with your ex.

Life after divorce can be good - I know, I'm living it.

Yes there were lonely days, there were sad days, angry days, frustrating days, but they were usually associated with looking back rather than forward.

Get up in the morning ready to accept the experiences the day has to offer, smile, the physical act of smiling changes your mood - it's true, google it! Find someone to help, pay a compliment, make someone else feel good and you will soon feel good too.

Feeling lonely is often associated with focusing on yourself, are you going over and over past events, and you still looking for fault, are you still blaming? All of these things stop you from looking out and forward. Remember being alone is different from being lonely. Time alone is something that you need, it gives you time to relax, plan, enjoy music, paint, cook, sleep, meditate, you carry on and make your own list.

Being lonely happens to us all from time to time, the trick is to recognise it and deal with it. I find that getting busy or getting out is best. I go for a walk and I smile. If you walk where other people walk or where people walk dogs you can usually find someone to pass the time of day with. If you smile people will smile back. If your loneliness is deeper and you find yourself brooding on being lonely day after day and not able to get out to meet people you should have a chat with your health practitioner, you may be depressed.

Life isn't fair, life after divorce may not be fair but it's up to you to decide whether you will spend the rest of your life looking back and feeling lonely or will you take a risk and step out, taking every opportunity that life will surely offer you. Life may not be fair, but you can still enjoy it.