I was sad after my divorce, but to be honest with you, I was thinking a lot about other women I might be able to pick up, too. Are you thinking about it a lot after divorce like I was? If so, you're not alone.
Actually, if you really must know, 99% of guys just don't understand how to pick up women because 99% of the stuff out there is just bad information that simply doesn't work. What I am saying is that there wasn't like a class at the local Jr. College on how to pick up women.
So, the first key to understand how to pick up women is that you first need to understand that you actually have to make an effort to develop--a skill through practice. Most men out there think that guys that are good with women have always been that way, and that they were gifted with this innate talent to pick up on women.
Nothing could be farther than the truth: so, good for us!
It's a set of skills that can be learned, being no different than riding a bike. You have to practice and see what works and what doesn't. Look, I've approach over 2,000 women over the last 6 years, whether on the streets, in clubs/bars, coffee houses of Paris, New York, Berlin, Spain, Miami, Seattle, Prague, Budapest, Amsterdam, or LA, and I'm telling you right now, I know what works and what doesn't.
Well, I don't blame you if you don't want to go through all of those trials and errors that I have endured. So, here are, three essential tips which will help you learn how to pick up women...
First: Go Where the Women Are
While this sounds obvious at first glance, it actually isn't. When it comes to learning how to pick up women, most guys make the mistake of trying to approach women where the competition is really fierce: like clubs and bars.
Clubs and bars have a lot of women to approach, but the problem a lot of the time is that women who go there in groups want to hang out with their friends. Women don't like the group to be broken up. They are getting hit on by a lot of guys, some of them drunk, too.
So, women at bars and clubs are more difficult to meet. While not impossible, your time could be spent in a more beneficial way.
Hence clubs and bars should be part of your over all tactics by being a great place to hone your skills; it shouldn't more than one fifth of your time spent picking up women.
The key to learning how to pick up women is if you start approaching women at unsuspecting places: grocery stores, parks, coffee houses, bookstores, libraries etc...you'll find that there's a lot less competition and therefore women don't have their "he's hitting on me radar" on high security mode. These place should be your focus or...
One of the best places to go is "speed dating." I can't tell you how great, in post-divorce, what speed dating has been for me! These women are there to meet men! They are motivated.
In this social sphere you will get tons of dates as long as you present your "best" self, dress pleasantly, and not act "creepy" to the women there.
For best results, go to different speed dating events in different areas and different companies (do a Google search).
If you go a lot, you might see the same women going there all the time, and some of them are a bit cynical. If they accuse you of going to these events "just to get laid," answer them by saying, "what's your excuse you dork." Whooaaa. You are forward. I can see what's on your mind all the time. Haha.
Don't be surprised if she picks you at the end of the night: it's happened to me quite a few times...hehe! Never make apologies about what you want as a man--ever!
Second: Build Trust First
The main secret of how to pick up women is being able to build comfort which will transform into deep rapport. But, how do you do this when it's clear that you're approaching her for the reasons of hitting on them?
It's easy: after you've spent some time talking to her and have built some trust and comfort, that's when you can start to hit on her.
For example, if a woman you are attracted to is sitting in a bookstore or coffee house, reading a book, sit in a chair next to her. After some minutes, tell her you have to use the restroom and to have her watch your seat.
This will communicate a subtle message that you trust her, and when you extend trust to a person, it's human nature to give it back: it's a concept in anthropology call reciprocity.
Next, when you return, not only have you broken the ice, but she is now primed for you to move the encounter forwards.
What would be even better is to throw in a little tease when you return. Something like this: "Wow, your good at protecting my property. I'm hiring you as my personal security detail to chase all of my female fans who are always after me. After the tease, it ought to be a lot easier to start up a "chat," and then you move to the last step...
Third: Use the "Time Limit Close"
Once you start to talk to her for a while, pretend to get a text message from a friend and that you have to leave. This kind of natural "interruption" will create an opportunity for you to say this: "I need to go, but I'd like to continue this conversation-- have you ever been to the xyz sushi place on 2nd Street?
Of course, ask for a date and her number. The purpose of the time limit close is that since the conversation was interrupted, you'll still be leaving her with the sense that you're not needy, that you have a life and that you and her still have something to talk about.
Use these strategies and practice a lot. The first couples of times, like all things in life, are a bit hard, but after a couple of times, you'll be comfortable and as other men see you in action, they will be asking for your advice on how to pick up women.
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