Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Five Steps to a Happy Life After Divorce

Some people are so broken up after a split up that they may think they can't have any kind of life after divorce. Not true!


This is a sticking point for them merely because they haven't learned to visualize what their life will truly "look like" after a divorce.


To make the transition easier, here are five things to remember about having a full life after divorce:


Life after divorce point 1: Whether you wanted a divorce or not, for the sake of your emotional stability you must face the situation head-on.


Divorce can be tough whether it is a current process or something you have already moved past. Divorce can be an emotional ordeal and you may be understandably touchy, but your emotional stability is paramount. Life will carry on after it divorce, but healing begins with admitting to yourself that you have gone through or are going through a trying time in your life. The first step is admitting this and facing the situation head-on.


Life after divorce point 2: Remember that this can be a fresh start for you.


Start thinking about what you have to look forward too rather than what you are giving up. Your new life can be great, or it can be very difficult if you don't remain positive about the challenges ahead. You have many opportunities before you, but you must take advantage of them in order to get a fresh start!


Life after divorce point 3: Surround yourself with people you like.


Sometimes people become desperate and are undiscriminating about those with whom they form relationships. Sparking a relationship, friendly or romantic, with anyone who will spend time with you can smack of desperation and lead to unhappiness in the long run. Stop and ask yourself "Would I spend time with this person if I were not going through this emotional turmoil? Will I want to spend time with him or her after it has ended?


Life after divorce point 4: Make time to spend time doing the things you enjoy doing every week.


Some people become workaholics, or just spend all their time fuming after a divorce.


Your life after divorce can be healthy and satisfying. At least once a week do something you really enjoy doing, either alone or with friends, whether it be fishing, sports, gardening, exercise, hobbies, going to a show or movie, attending a concert or whatever else turns you on.


Life after divorce point 5: Concentrate on your goals.


This can be a tumultuous time. To feel good about yourself, concentrate on a set of goals that you always wanted to attain but have never succeeded in doing so. Prioritize those goals and set an action plan. There are probably things you've always wanted to do in your life but never accomplished. The obligations of marriage may have kept you from doing things that you would have done otherwise. Now is your chance to get those things done that you've always wanted to do.


This can be a happy time, not a continuation of the pain you may have gone through and expect to continue. A positive attitude will go a long way in dealing with the trials and tribulations you currently face.


If divorce is imminent or you've already gone through it, take the time to develop an action plan. Life after divorce can be extremely liberating if you are willing to accept the opportunities it presents you.

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